This is essentially a model, it’s a place to come from in your communication with a significant other where you are not leaving any room to blame them for your experience of the relationship. it’s this idea that you are the creator of the relationship and the relationship is yours and because of that in it because it’s your creation you are 100% responsible for the experience that you’re having in it and what this allows for is for you to be able to bring things to the table with without coming from the victim mentality. without blaming the other person that you are somehow victim or you or that they are a persecutor in the relationship that they are doing something wrong to you but rather you are seeing and asking the question “how am I possibly creating the dynamic that is maybe dysfunctional between the two of us, what am I bringing to the table that is keeping this in place and it’s not necessarily blaming yourself you’re not saying there’s like this moral judgment and heaviness around it but rather seeing that if you are the creator of it that then you can also be the dismantler of it as well according to Wimbledon Escorts https://charlotteaction.org/wimbledon-escorts.
you’re taking apart the dynamic you’re looking at the components of it you’re saying “okay, well here’s what I’ve been doing that has been causing this to occur and I’m going to stop doing that I’m going to let that go I’m going to let that go and you know here’s something new that I’m going to bring to the table and I’m not going to be victim I’m not going to stand in a place where I’m being I’m blaming myself for feeling like I’m powerless in the situation”
Thing that happens when we noticed the distribution or dynamic in relationship so in a sense for me to be a victim you have to be some kind of villain or perpetrator. for me to be a nice guy you have to be you know someone that needs to be taken care of in a certain so once we start to expose some of those deeper dynamics in the way that they depend upon each other that can be really revealing of what is actually going on and even if you have felt historically like you are the powerless or the persecuted or the victim you’ve got to notice that what’s going on is not just over there according to Wimbledon Escorts.
One of the ways that I’ve explained this to clients that I’ve date with in the past is when a problem occurs in the relationship and say the crap hits the fan. the 50/50 model is one that you live by well there are fifty percent responsible I’m 50 percent responsible who’s in charge of what fifty percent the crap hitting the fan?
then the question that you’re in when you’re trying to resolve is not one of “how do we get through this” but it’s “what am I responsible for” that’s the question that you’re asking what do I need to take responsibility for and what do they need to take responsibility for? And then you’re waiting for them to do something before you’re doing something but this 100 percent responsibility model also asks you to go first in the relationship